Kikyo

Superb Caterpillar Geisha

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Among all the curious beings to ever confound poor Neko Alice on her way through Wonderland, none wove riddles, rhymes, and roundabout reasoning quite so gracefully as the Caterpillar Geisha. With every languid puff of her shimmering hookah and every soft flutter of her many sleeves, she dispensed questions that led to answers that led to more questions, until Alice could scarcely recall whether she had been walking forward, backward, or sideways.

So when the Caterpillar Geisha followed the faint traces of Alice—through the Dormouse (quite literally through, for he can be walked through like a door on Thursdays and alternate Mondays) and straight into the dismal clutches of Niflheim—she brought with her the full weight of her whimsical confusion.

And Niflheim, already a land famed for its dreariness, gloom, and general lack of tea parties, found itself wholly unprepared for her riddles. For nothing disarms a dreadful beast faster than being asked, with utmost politeness, “What kind of creature is always running late but never moves its feet?” especially when accompanied by a slow swirl of hallucinogenic hookah smoke that turns their thoughts into taffy.

One by one, sinister monsters wilt, fold, flop, faint, collapse, or simply wander away in search of softer metaphors.

Yet through every twisted corridor and maddened echo of Niflheim, the Caterpillar Geisha never once forgets her singular purpose: to find dear Neko Alice and continue bothering her as thoroughly, artistically, and incessantly as only the Caterpillar Geisha can.

After all, there is no friendship in Wonderland quite as enduring as one built upon a foundation of relentless riddling.